Using Humor to Captivate and Connect
This post may contain affiliate links and ads. Affiliate links and ads support my work at no extra cost to you. Thank you for your ongoing support!It may be April Fools’ Day, but you won’t find any uncouth jokes around here!
Instead, let’s talk about how you can use humor to your advantage - to captivate and connect with audiences both large and small - whether you are delivering a keynote address or simply want to spice up your small talk.
Humor is a tricky subject, mostly because it is so subjective to each individual’s taste. The same joke may not land across every audience and what one person finds funny, another person will most certainly not.
So how can you use humor to connect and captivate? There are a few simple tools and strategies you can practice to liven things ups!
After all, we might not all find the same things to be funny but we do ALL love to LAUGH!
What’s Funny and What’s Not?
Humor is defined as “the quality of being amusing or comic, especially as expressed in literature or speech” and it often involves something surprising or unexpected. Humor can found in the stories that make up our everyday and the way we share those stories can help us to captivate and connect with others.
While humor is best used to amuse and connect, at times, people can use humor as an indirect way of hurting others. It’s important to consider what’s funny and what’s not if you want to be able to use humor to your advantage.
So what’s NOT funny?
Attacking someone’s personal character or culture
Deliberately hurting someone’s feelings
Calling attention to an illness, disability or personal struggle someone is facing
Offensive, controversial or polarizing topics (race, religion, political hot buttons, etc)
Jokes or pranks that could end up harming or embarrassing someone
If your joke hits one of the roadblocks above, it may be best to put it aside or consider how you can retell or adjust the story to make sure it comes across as funny and not tragic.
3 Simple Ways to Be Funnier
Mind Your Body Language: Confident, relaxed body language and an upbeat, positive energy is the first step to drawing in your audience. Make eye contact with others, speak clearly and smile! Use gestures smartly to make a point. For example, exaggerate facial expressions to fill a pause or land a punchline with a well-placed wink.
Draw from Real Life Stories: Do yourself a favor and return your copy of “100 Best Dad Jokes”. Instead, take an interest in your everyday surroundings. Observe the people and activity around you. The best and most compelling humor comes from our shared human experiences. Find the funny and then share it.
Adopt Comedic Strategies: Why not take an Improv class? Stretch your skills and learn from the best. Watch and learn from stand up comedians and familiarize yourself with comedic strategies. This YouTube video from Chad Littlefield is a 10 minute master class on how to add humor to conversation with comedic strategies!
How to Build Humor into Conversations
Go the Opposite Direction: A simple way to captivate attention and build in humor is to say the opposite of what someone is expecting. A dry “What beautiful weather we’re having today” can bring a smile to someone’s face as they welcome you in sopping wet from the rain storm outside. That party you’re planning? “A intimate group of only 300 people. I’d say it should be quite cozy.” Say “yes” when someone expects “no”, go BIG when they expect small, or comment the opposite of what someone’s expecting. “Oh Rover? He’s our darling (150 pound) lap dog.”
Watch & Listen to Funny People: You don’t always have to be funny. You can simply share a funny story or skit you saw on TV, listened to on a podcast or read about online. This is a low-risk way to introduce humor to a conversation without the pressure of being funny yourself.
What to Do When a Joke Goes Wrong
DON’T Cover It Up: “IT WAS JUST A JOKE!” To me, there is nothing worse than this phrase. As a child and teen, I remember learning “Kidding doesn’t count!” and I often remind my children that a “joke isn’t funny if no one laughs.” Some jokes fall flat. Some jokes come across as offensive. Some jokes simply are not funny. Take it in stride, but don’t deflect and demean someone else for not “getting” your joke. It likely wasn’t a joke at all - they were just smart enough to see right through it.
Let it Go & Apologize: “I’m sorry. That wasn’t really funny. I should have thought that through before sharing it.” Is a much better way to handle a joke gone wrong. Let it go - admit defeat! Move on quickly and change the subject to something light hearted. Most people are quick to forgive and with a bit of confidence and grace you can likely recover yourself by the end of the conversation.
Take Note for Next Time: Pay attention to the way people respond to your jokes. Do you hear a quick, unsettled giggle? The person might be trying to cover up how uncomfortable they are without making a scene. Raucous laughter and tears streaming down their face? You landed on a winner. A dead stare and tight lips? MOVE ON AND MOVE OUT.
“Good humor is one of the best articles of dress one can wear in society.”
Humor is an indispensable tool that can be used to quickly connect with others. It’s not an inherent character trait, but rather something that can be learned and practiced.
Whether you are looking to improve your presentation skills or connect with others through clever conversation, I hope these simple tips help you to discover new ways to build your confidence!
Do you consider yourself a funny person? What type of humor resonates most with you? Leave your thoughts in the comments and let’s keep the conversation going!
