“No offense, but…”

Ma’am, I’m going to need you pause, rewind and try again.

Have you ever been caught off guard by the way someone begins a conversation? Certain phrases are often use to soften the impact of whatever information is about to be delivered. However, instead of softening the impact, these phrases generally put the other person on high alert and the conversation lands dead on arrival.

If you feel these words circulating in your mind before you begin a conversation, take it as a good sign to pause and think twice before speaking them out loud.

So what are these phrases? Let me share some examples I’ve personally experienced:

Never Begin a Conversation with THESE Phrases:

• No offense, but…

• Promise you won’t be mad?

• This might sound bad, but…

• I would never ask, but everyone wants to know…

• I’m not supposed to say anything, but…

Why? There’s no quicker way to put someone on the defensive than by plainly telling them they are about to be: 

• Offended

• Angry

• Upset

• Hurt

• Uncomfortable

Yikes! If a person feels like that way before you’ve even finished your sentence they are sure to shut down quickly.

The conversation likely won’t go as planned and it may leave a bad taste in their mouth, too.

Have you experienced these types of conversation starters? How did it make you feel?

What phrase irritates you the most? Is there another phrase you would add to this list?

There’s so much to discuss here! I would love to know your thoughts - leave a comment and let’s chat!