How To: Write The Perfect Thank You Note

Written By Courtney Opalko
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In a world where even the simplest of good manners are overlooked, I find it a grounding and refreshing practice to write and send thank you notes whenever I have the opportunity. What is more meaningful than taking a few minutes of your time to reflect your gratitude and then share it with a friend?

A handwritten thank you note should be sent anytime someone goes above and beyond in your honor. Whether that’s through a physical gift or kind gesture, taking the time to write a thank you note is a simple thing you can do to acknowledge someone for their thoughtfulness and effort.

Writing thank you notes can also be intimidating - what do I write? What do I say? Is it too short? Too long? Too late?! These anxieties are often at the root of why people don’t send thank you cards at all!

If you often feel stuck when it comes to writing thank you notes, bookmark this handy guide and fear no more! You’ll be writing elegant thank you notes in no time!

How To Write the Perfect Thank You Note

  • Always begin your note with “Dear ________,” this salutation is always correct regardless of the familiarity of your relationship or the formality of the note.

  • Open the note by recalling your relationship or time spent together. Example: “It was wonderful to see you at our wedding shower. I’m so glad you were able to be there to celebrate with us!”

  • Thank the person explicitly for the gift that was received. Example: “Thank you for the Kitchen-Aid mixer!”

  • Include a note about how you might use the gift. “I’m looking forward to using it to try new recipes and bake Grandma’s famous lemon drop cookies.”

  • Begin to close with another nod to the person and your relationship. “I’m so grateful for your kindness, love and support during this exciting time.”

  • Thank the person once more. Example: “Thank you again for the lovely gift and for spending time with us at our wedding shower.”

  • Close the note with an appropriate sign-off. The type of sign-off used can vary depending on the relationship you have with the person. Some examples include:

    • Sincerely (formal, but always correct)

    • Warmly,

    • Love,

    • Your friend,

Let’s put it all together and see what this note would look like in its entirety!

Dear Aunt Anna,

It was wonderful to see you at our wedding shower. I’m so glad you were able to be there to celebrate with us. Thank you for the Kitchen-Aid mixer! I’m looking forward to using it to try new recipes and bake Grandma’s famous lemon drop cookies. I’m so grateful for your kindness, love and support during this exciting time. Thank you again for the lovely gift and for spending time with us at our wedding shower.

With love,

Courtney

There you have it! Simple, direct and sure to make Aunt Anna’s day!

Here are a few hints for when things get tricky:

  • Thanking someone for money: Instead of saying “thank you for the money” I go with “thank you for your generous gift”

  • Thanking someone you don’t know well: “I appreciate your kindness on this special occasion!”

  • Thanking someone who sent a gift/was not present at the event: “Your thoughtful gift was a wonderful surprise to find in the mail!” or “Your special delivery made my day!”

Social Correspondence Etiquette Tips

When it comes to written correspondence, there are a few etiquette tips to keep in mind as you elevate your skills and become an expert in writing thank you notes!

  • It’s never too late to say thank you, but do your best to send a thank you note within one week of receiving a gift. For large events like birthday parties, showers and weddings, you have a longer grace period!

  • Social correspondence is correctly handwritten with real ink, preferably in blue. Business correspondence can by typed and printed.

  • Always do your best to use your neatest handwriting so that it’s easy to read. I’ve included two handwriting practice books below if you want to improve your handwriting!

  • Try your best to avoid spelling and grammatical errors. I find it helpful to type out my note first, and once I’m satisfied, I copy it down on the notecard.

  • Remember that the stationery you choose is a reflection of your personal style! I’ve included some lovely options in the “Build Your Own Stationery Wardrobe” below.

  • Social correspondence should always be hand stamped.

Build Your Own Stationery Wardrobe

Aside from not knowing what to write (no longer an obstacle for you, my elegant friend!), the second roadblock to writing thank you notes tends to be a lack of supplies. I find that by keeping a well stocked stationery wardrobe at home, I’m able to quickly send and stay on top of thank you notes and other social correspondence.

Your stationery wardrobe should reflect your personal taste and style. Keep evergreen pieces that are perfect for any occasion and be sure to stock up ahead of large events like parties, showers or your wedding.

You can build an elegant stationery wardrobe on any type of budget! At times, buying larger quantities can help reduce the price per sheet/card, and can be a smart thing to do. Otherwise, having a few sheets of paper, correspondence cards and a variety of greeting cards to choose from is perfect.

You now have the knowledge and tools you need to write elegant thank you notes! Let’s bring back this lost art together and share our gratitude for gifts both large and small.

Do you enjoy writing thank you notes? Do you think more people should send thank you notes? Leave your thoughts in the comments below!

Interested in learning more? Consider booking a private virtual training to learn The Art of Correspondence or join us this summer for the Ladies’ Social Etiquette & Elegance Course.

Courtney Opalko
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